I started week two with one of my favorite crappy-good movies, Bubba Ho-Tep. My friend Sean had never seen it, so I forced it upon him. He agrees with me. It's not a great film, but it's a great idea and it's a lot of fun.
The premise: 70's Fat Elvis grows tired of the kitsch his life has become and hires an Elvis impersonator to take his place for awhile. Problems ensue (their written agreement gets destroyed during a freak BBQ accident, the impersonator dies, Elvis falls off a stage and breaks his hip) and Elvis ends up in an East Texas rest home where a gentleman who thinks he is John F. Kennedy is also a tenant.
As luck would have it, a reincarnated mummy has taken up residence in the gardeners shed. Also as luck would have it, Bruce Campbell (one of my favorite actors) is playing Elvis and Ossie Davis (R.I.P.) plays JFK. Campbell is inspired casting, Davis lends it some credibility, and lifelong B movie director Don Coscarelli (the Phantasm movies) helms a short story by Joe R. Lansdale.
The Captain gives this one a stupid-fun B.
I went to the theater the other night willing to see whatever started soon, and I got to see Next with Nicolas Cage and Jessica Biel. Cage apparently got his hairdo at Tom Hanks' Da Vinci Code yard sale. It was creepily reminiscent of Hanks' weird mullet thing from that movie.
Um, did I mention that Jessica Biel is unbelievably smokin' hot? *Sigh*. Probably the best moment of this movie was her in a towel post shower. Much better to look at than Cage's hair. Wig. Whatever it was.
This was a popcorn flick in the best way. It didn't suck, it wasn't great, it didn't require a lot of thought, there was some good action, some decent laughs, and when it was over I was moderately satisfied. It didn't hurt that I had a gift card left over from Christmas so I only had to pay fifty cents to go. I'll give it a B-.
Another movie I should have seen long ago but that I only just watched is Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest. I mean, me being a nautical type and all, you'd think that I would have camped out to see this one. It's another case of me avoiding the hype, and like Eternal Sunshine, I'm sad that I'd waited. I really liked this movie. The FX were amazing. It was a smidge darker than the first movie, but the sense of the absurd that I enjoyed so much the first time around was still there. I was cracking up when Captain Sparrow was running around on the deck of his ship, mocking Davy Jones with cries of "I got a jar of dirt!" and then he fell down the stairs.
The set pieces were well done, as was the continued character development. In this movie, as opposed to the first, the characters have differing goals, and the tension derived from this was excellent. The cast was first rate. I enjoyed seeing Stelan Skarsgard with barnacles on his face, and Bill Nighy was almost unrecognizable as Davy Jones.
And what a cliffhanger. Jack accepts his fate and enters the gullet of the kraken, and we see the improbable return of Captain Barbosa. I have to admit that I'm pretty geeked to see the third film in a couple of weeks. I'll give this film an A-. Well done, pirates.
A quick side note: If any of you have kept up with this blog, you'll probably have noticed that I'm a bit behind schedule in the number of movies I've watched. I'm working on it. I'll catch up soon. I promise.
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5 comments:
We had our Ho-Tep discussion over slabs of hot pork and pancakes of dubious ownership, and I think I agree with your assesment. Haven't seen Next. Can't believe that you rated Pirates 2 higher than Buba Ho-Tep. You never fail to surprise, Cap'n. I just felt like Pirates 2 was riding a schtick that didn't even last (at least for me) the entirety of the first film. Here is a synopsis of my viewing Pirates 2, which I saw with my wife on opening week: 35 minutes into film, I fall soundly, droolingly, numbingly asleep. Awake some 20 minutes later to barnacle-covered, semi-literate pirate with CGI hair-tentacles, resume sleeping. Awake again during epic water wheel fight scene. Sleep again. Reawaken, water wheel fight scene still in full tilt. Sleep. Awaken, peek through squinty eyes just to ensure that water wheel fight scene has ended. It hasn't. Sleep. Dream about water wheel fight scene. Awake again to realize that I was not dreaming, and realize that water wheel fight scene has lasted for some 45 minutes. Put empty, greasy, popcorn bucket over my head to drown out water wheel fight scene. Reemerge from bucket after 30 more minutes of water wheel fight scene sounds to see a setting not unlike the old Pirates ride at Disneyland, and subsequently discover that there is room for yet another sequel, which I assume will be titled "Pirates 3: Return of the Water Wheel".
Okay, so I embelished my account somewhat. But I really did keep waking up and seeing water wheel, thinking "My Lord when will this madness stop."
Y'know, sir, I must take you to task for your version of the wheel fight. I was slightly perturbed by your assertion that the scene in question was way too long. I didn't remember it that way, so I went back and timed it. From the moment Turner and Norrington stepped onto the wheel, to when Sparrow jumped off and the wheel rolled down the hill, ending said fight scene, the time was two mintes and forty-two seconds.
By contrast the closing credits took over nine minutes. I think you need to stop sneaking liquor into the theater inside your tummy.
But seriously, I think I benefited from a total lack of expectation. I don't see much in the theater any more, as I have posted before, to avoid the hype. One of my co-workers (named Zack) is a huge fan of the Pirates thing (even getting a vanity plate with 'parley' misspelled as 'parlay', and giving himself the nickname Captain Zack Sparrow) so I had come to despise anything Pirates, except for the films themselves. When you expect nothing from a movie and then are pleasantly surprised, it may skew the final grade. I'll watch this film again in a while and re-review it. It's the least I can do.
I don't challenge your enjoyment of the film, just wanted to relate my experience. I find it very hard to swallow that the water wheel scene was a mere 2 minutes and 49' although I know you ain't a liar. I wonder if the bonus material on the disc contains the other 78 minutes of the water wheel.
I really wonder if it was longer in theaters. Sincerely. I only make a point because when I saw Clamato a few days later (who had incidentally just come from Pirates 2) and I asked him his opinion, the first thing out of his mouth was, and I repeat "It would have been alright if they had knocked 10 minutes off that damn water wheel scene."
The mystery.
I will stop posting drivel on here if you want me to, but I really wanted to beat Verbinski with a sack of cue balls after that film--almost as much as I want to beat a post-2001 Jerry Bruckheimer.
Mr. Arafat, please continue to post. I have yet to consider anything you've posted as drivel. Sorry if my tone was a bit off-putting, I know sometimes my sarcasm and snarkiness come off as mean A-hole-ness. Didn't mean to offend.
If I never see another Nick Coppola er Cage vehicle again, I'll know I've died and made it to limbo.
What? (**mute whispers with the cardinal)
Oh damn. They cancelled limbo.
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